Back in Action - a new dimension

It feels great to be back after a long time. you can also directly visit me at http://kazicreations.com/
I personally Thank each and every fan of mine for the thick and thin.
Regards,

Kazi of Kazicreations

Going SOLO - kazicreations

Waiting to END

Fate has finally lured me towards the den of darkness. My senses are gradually weakening in the claws of coldness of the catastrophe that has left my wounds gaping wide open.

I have sinking since a month. I am trying to smile right now so that I do not regret anything afterwards. I have now released my firm fists spread open…my arms outstretched, holding nothing anymore.

I am feeling like a prisoner of war right now, shackled in rusty chains of confinement and intoxicated by swirling vivid reminiscences rushing at me that I have lived with during all these years.

I feel as if my last moments are just nearby playing hide-and-seek with me, waiting to surprise me at any moment. I feel like my hands are cuffed behind me and my knees are bleeding. My throat is dry with thirst and my lungs heavily exhausted to be able to breathe any further…

I am now certain that I am here to go. There is nothing much left. I do not know whether I have served the purpose of my life or wasted it all. Leaving the world can be a very home sickening feeling to think of leaving all the people that I have been attached to and not being able to see, hear or feel them ever again. However, the ironic truth is that, as time rolls by, people gradually forget to remember and move on with their lives.

Nothing is going to stop here. The same old tape of reality has kept replaying over the ages since the start of civilization – it is just that the way these tapes have been played have been upgraded down the line of time.

The beauty of life lies in within it. Life is a mixed bag of ups & downs, tears & sorrow, and many more where each element teaches a lesson whether we take it or leave it. I hope I tried to do my part to the best of my abilities. It is time, we all should move on without stopping here and being sad…

Life is very beautiful…

Swept by a Storm

Friday, 20th August 2010

Seventeen days have swept away seventeen million moments.

My eyes continuously brim with unstoppable tears similar to the rain pouring outside my window at this early hour of a Friday morning – a late Thursday night for some…

My senses are benumbed and every single piece of memory is flooding my mind right from the days when my dad used to cuddle me to sleep in his arms when I was a child; my first visit to the mosque with him; my first day at school with him; the best memories of my dad...

Yes, I am missing him terribly right now. Strangely, there is no guarantee to anything in this world of limitations. Everything that begins here suddenly ends in rather surprisingly unwanted and unexpected situations that most of us are never prepared for no matter how strong we may tend to be.

It pains me every single moment throughout every single day to accept the fact that all this had to happen the way it has occurred. The pain is unbearable, yet sadly, I have no choice but to smile for the sake of the other members in the family – to avoid letting them feel that I have been poisoned by grief & helplessness.

I am unable to write any further. My mind is constantly getting clogged with sorrow & suffering due to these intolerable pangs of pain. It has taken me seventeen hard and rough days to write without a pen through a keyboard because my fingers refuse to move.

This storm may have been over but it has surely left me deeply devastated and I cannot tell if I can ever be the same again…

Corridor of the Past

MIND OF A MASSACRED MAN

As I search my heart for your soul
I can only sense some traces trailing of your love

I find myself lost in trance
Drowning in the dreams of my past
My eyes refuse to open
As my mind merges with the merriment
Of those memories that I miss every moment

My breath still searches for your scent
Until it runs out of it
Your laughter still echoes at the back of my mind
Your smiles still haunt my soul away

I still spend my nights sleepless
Remembering you in my silent prayers

I still remember every single second
Of our togetherness that I used to believe
Unbreakable even by the strongest of storms…

Until it left me wrecked on an isolated island of shattered dreams
Bleeding me at every beat of my heart

My soul still burns inside the mausoleum of my sealed heart
Like a lamp strutting and fretting forever
In your loving memory

. . .

Somewhere, sometime, someday…

If you ever happen to realize my absence and remember me
I am sure your soul would be weaving this same song
All over again
Once I am gone

Lanterns of Love

Rise to Heaven

Towers of Tomorrow

Desert Highway

28 JUNE 2010

I don’t know what to say
As I watch you walk away
I’m trying to freeze all emotions
Across the memories of my yesterdays

I don’t know if I would be the same again
I don’t know if I could forget this pain
I don’t know if I should be here at all

I don’t know how things are going to be from now
I don’t know if I could cope up some how
I don’t know if you would ever remember me

I don’t know why I’m bleeding inside
I don’t know why my heart is sinking right now
I don’t know why these tears are rolling down
My cheeks tonight

I’m missing you
Right now
I’m missing you

As I watch you walk away
All I wish I could say

I’ll be missing you
Every single night and day

But someday
When you’d really
Understand me
I’d be very far away

Yet I’d still be
Missing YOU

Laser Blades

Red & White

Day of Departure

Tears of Tragedy
Flood the gates of Heaven
Prayers remain unanswered
And all Hopes freeze in time

I gaze into the future
To glance back in time
It seems like all the memories
Of my past are pouring in
Like monsoon rain

I might want to remember
I might want to forget
I would love to forgive everyone tonight, perhaps
And be forgotten without any trace

It is a beautiful way to wind up
A solitarily exhausting journey
To listen to the peals of laughter
Echoing in the backdrop at the end

At least it is better
Than the monotony of silence
That eagerly waits to welcome me
And put my restless soul to rest
Once and for all

. . .


Now it’s all over
I am over here now
To bear with each long day
As it leisurely burns away
Until I soon fall fast asleep forever
To wake up to face my trial
On the most anticipated Judgment Day

Wave Watching

Crimson & Cozy

Roads & Rush Hour

Royal Palace - Sri Lanka

One Misty Morning

Tantalizing view from Taj Samudra

Alluring Atrium

Spiral Minaret

Fortress of Freedom

Solitary Corridor

Wood & Limestone

Medieval Arabia

Crescent Craft

Distance

This one word constantly keeps haunting me of the solitary times that I have lived in my past and of those that I may have to spend in the coming future. I do not know how time has been slipping through my hand as almost eight years have swept by…

The time when I came here I was confused and quite sad at having left my past behind. In these few years that I have spent here, I had adjusted my sails but now it seems the previous act shall repeat all over again.

This unusual feeling of some strange sort of sickness has kept me very quiet and isolated for the last few days. This time, I think I feel as if I am moving half way from my own self to somewhere I do not belong but that I shall have to fend for myself in the classic battle called “Survival of the Fittest”. I am no David or Goliath. All I know is that I will give in my best for the win.

This Distance shall once again leave me hacked right through my soul when I finally move on. The miles that lie ahead of me stretch so far away that they seem to touch the horizon and merge with the evening sky. I do not know if I can complete this journey, but I am hopeful that I will not stop walking until I arrive at my ultimate resting place and rest until Eternity…

Green Day

Of Graves & Tombs

Alone in the Indian Ocean

Horizon

Village by the Sea

Melancholic Morning

Delicate Designs

Dainty Doha

Night Delight

Inferno Intensity

LOVE

Before the creation of existence, the entire idea of life was nothing less than an ocean of Divine LOVE stretching beyond unlimited boundaries timelessly.

Out of all the things that were created by the Almighty, Love was perhaps the only element that was not created because it was heavenly. Love always existed. Love was always there even when there were no signs of life. Life was formed by Almighty with His Divine Love for all that He created in the Heavens and the earth. Love was the only reason beyond definitions for which we have been created and sent down to earth to share the light of love amongst ourselves before the Divine Love of Almighty reunites us before the Lord Who Has So Magnificently Created ETERNAL LOVE that only exists forever…

If we take a look around us, there is so much love that HATE – no matter how intense it may seem to appear, eventually gets conquered by the strength of love. From the origins of civilization till the modern times of today, LOVE has won the hearts of all ages, caste, race, religion, nationality… The presence of Love can be seen in every aspect of this universe by means of harmony and mutual understanding.

Had love been nonexistent, everything would have perished to emptiness. Maybe, the universe would have come down crashing; the skies would have torn apart; the mountains might have shredded asunder or maybe the oceans would have drowned us all.

While the dictionary meaning of “LOVE” defines that ‘it is a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment’, I personally feel that words are inadequate to complete the totality of such a powerful 4-lettered word.

Some Perspectives of LOVE

Love from the Judas perspective:
In Hebrew, Ahava is the most commonly used term for both interpersonal love and love of God. Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both among people and between man and the Deity. Regarding the former, the Torah states, "Love your neighbor like yourself".

Love from the Christian perspective:
The Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman—eros in Greek—and the unselfish love of others (agape), are often contrasted as "ascending" and "descending" love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.
Christians believe that to “Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength” and “Love your neighbor as yourself” are the two most important things in life.

Love from the Islamic perspective:
In a sense, love does encompass the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold the faith. There are no direct references stating that God is love, but amongst the 99 names of God (Allah), there is the name Al-Wadud, or "the Loving One," which is found in Surah 11:90 as well as Surah 85:14. It refers to God as being "full of loving kindness." All who hold the faith have God's love, but to what degree or effort he has pleased God depends on the individual itself.
Ishq, or divine love, is the emphasis of Sufism. Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God "looks" at itself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices to see the beauty inside the apparently ugly. Sufism is often referred to as the religion of love. God in Sufism is referred to in three main terms, which are the Lover, Loved, and Beloved, with the last of these terms being often seen in Sufi poetry.

Ambrose Bierce defines Love to be “A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by the removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.”

On another note, the pure purpose of LOVE can be otherwise defined as: “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”


Love is the emblem of Eternity that provides with everlasting happiness; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fears of an end.

Where there is the greatest love, there are always miracles.

Life translates ideas into visions. Love transforms visions to Reality.

Mixed Emotions

I want to free my soul
Once and forever
I want to put to rest
My exhausted heartbeats

I guess I’ve pushed myself
Beyond the edge of limitations
And now I’m finding it unbearable
To hold on to dear life any longer

I know I’ve been pretending
All this time that I'm strong enough
To overcome any storm
Come what may

I know I didn’t have a choice
Because I never stood a chance
To have trudged so far
With simply nothing at all

I don’t feel like closing my eyes
To never wake up tomorrow
Leaving unfinished business to settle

I wish to taste the last feeling
Of leaving forever
With my eyes wide open

I don’t know if I’m happy
I don’t know if I’m sad
I just feel so numb right now
That I can’t feel a thing

Nothing lasts forever
Nobody lives forever
Everything that has ever begun
Has its ultimate end waiting
Until it is over

Quest for Identity

The sweet and sour tasting memories continue ambushing me from the back of my mind like crashing tides that froth and surf against the silent sandy seashore. Often times, I halt to look back, disturbed and bedazzled at the manner in which I have to innovate escape plans from my past by keeping my restless mind heavily occupied by work that exhausts me until I unconsciously fall asleep.

Nothing lasts forever. I repeatedly say this to myself as reassurance. While on one hand, I want to badly escape the intensity of this unbearable trauma of clinging on to dreams that I had dared to dream without regret; I still want to stubbornly walk on as long as I have my conscience active enough to remind me that I still have a long way to go…

No matter how worn out that I may become at the end of each day, I wake up the following morning to discover that my life got extended for yet another day to complete.

Family, friends, colleagues, passersby, strangers, thoughts, ideas, emotions, needs, wants, dreams… – these all seem to complement one another in a dramatic realm of reality and create a story revolving around each one of us where we role play as leading characters that gradually sink towards the darkening horizon of age, wisdom & time.

Youth is so short-lived. As a child, we all want to rush towards it. With age, we don’t even get the time to realize that youth disappeared in thin air leaving our hair turning grey and skin starting to crease. Silence also creeps in. Some call it the arrival of wisdom, others understand it as solitude. The significance of age remains to be understood as chapters that must be lived to be experienced. Every book of Life is uniquely different from the other.

Retirement is not the end of everything. It is the time when either the book has reached its last page; or perhaps, there are still be many chapters left unread that could have been read only if there was adequate ink left to write on those pages without ending abruptly and leaving no traces of completion.

I do not know the reasons behind all this. At times, life intrigues me. At times, I remain speechless at the questions that arrive at the gates of my disturbed mind for which I can produce no answers. If answers would have brought solutions to suspense, there would not have been any curiosity left within our minds to search for that one question: " Who am I? "

Everyone has a unique answer – but not necessarily the right answer. Or maybe, we have guessed it right without realizing it…

Kaleidoscope

There were times when I used to wonder lying in bed whether it would be better to die now or spend the remains of my time dreaming about living another day and evade this sinking feeling of coldness as my grip on dear life kept loosening.

Those were the days – dark, scary and yet so unbelievably real. I survived that haunting ordeal where I often used to feel myself as if a large lump of weight was chained to one of my feet and I was quickly sinking deeper down into the deep dark ocean of oblivion from where perhaps, I was unable to find myself.

At times I used to identify myself as nothing more than a prisoner of fate – blindfolded, gagged and shackled from my freedom except to just breathe. As destiny continued transporting & trading me for my skills from unknown places to unusual places still; my exhausted eyes still searched for those familiar faces in the unfamiliar crowd of faces that I kept stumbling upon every moment that I lived during those times.

The internal perspective of Life is nothing less than a kaleidoscope – full of broken pieces, bleeding emotions, shattered dreams, hopeless hopes and memories wrapped in pain.

DARE

Loneliness is a strange experience
It is something that begins as a mystery
Until it becomes a haunting misery
Once it start living inside you

Life brews dreams at one end
While it baits them with sacrifices on the other
Sacrifices have never been an easy pick
But fate at times leaves you with no choice either

I dared to hope again
Even when every ounce of desire
Evaporated from my heart

I dared to walk again
Even when my feet kept bleeding over
Shredded glass and thorns obstructing my path

I dared to smile again
Even when I failed to find
A warm feeling to cheer me up

I may have quit dreaming
About my own future
To serve a better purpose

I would rather wish to serve the people
Who lead incomplete lives
And fill their empty spaces
By living their dreams with everything
I can give away


“I dared to dream again”

Random Thoughts – Disturbed

The world is made up of real people, real emotions, real moments, real pain, real happiness, real wounds, real situations, real victories, real losses…

It is hard to change habits that we often get accustomed to. We tend to become dependent towards the things and people who are actually very far away. The heart refuses to accept these truths while the eyes refuse to stop waiting and the soul never stop searching for those footprints tracing memories towards one’s past where such moments have been engraved evergreen…

“ Not all fingers are the same in length. But when they are bent they all stand equal. Life becomes easy when we bend and adjust to situations.”

“ The ultimate truth of life is that – success always kisses you in private, but failure always kicks you in public.”

“ Stone breaks the head, but water breaks the stone. Anger suppresses your enemy, but forgiveness destroys the enmity.”

We never get back what we lose from our grasps. Success is all about accomplishments. Yet, what is success without the people to rejoice it with…

EXISTENCE

Within a realm of shimmering opulence
Remains now the remnants of reminiscences
Blurred and somewhat faded
But still vividly bright
And very alive

The emptiness stretching
Across the deserted hallway
Of the inner self
Is gradually tranquilizing
The distraught mind

Difficult it gets to express
During such a time
Distressing it is
To be all alone

Helpless
As much as the word itself
Means nothing at all

Moments freeze
At every breath
As every breath
Gradually freezes
While life stutters
Upon the touch of death

Death is just the beginning
Of one’s ultimate end

In the end
Nothing actually remains
Other than the memories
That we leave behind

Gradually with the passage of time
We are either remembered or forgotten
Until no one remembers
What the last thing was
That had ever happened

Pure ENIGMA

AMAZING AMUSEMENT

I can see you smile
On the other side of the screen
Although you can’t see me though

And you don’t even know that
I can see you from where I am

I understand that you are now better off without me
Although it is not an easy thing to accept

I also know that you have always tried to
Hide some moments of truth from me
For reasons that only you know best

Yet I stand here to watch you laugh
At the humor that merrily surrounds you

I humbly admit that I did not possess
The qualities that you may have been looking for

Which you may have now succeeded in finding
In somebody else
Who has proved to be

The better man
With a bigger world
Filled with beautiful options
To keep you happy forever

Surely it is
A way better option
Than my worthless heart
That only pulsates
To know that

You are fine

:: Mark of Respect ::

Friendship, love & companionship are all blessings from above. These are heavenly attachments that cannot be created or broken when one wishes to. They simply seem to happen and we are often left caught unaware of such happenings.

At times we even fail to realize and understand that we are already far more deeply attached to the ones we are connected to, than the deep blue sea. We only start feeling we are suddenly in the middle of nowhere when the person we are closely attached to is no longer available.

These three genres of relationships do not come with a price tag because they are priceless. They are also irreplaceable. The vacuum left by the absence of a loved one shall forever tend to remain explicitly empty during one’s lifetime.

Coming together in life and later to part away is nature’s way of teaching us that this world is a “Transit Station” and that we shall all have to let go and move on sooner or later.

It is due to this acceptance of harsh reality that I wish to thank everyone today as a Mark of Respect for being with me all this time through ups & downs, good & bad times and all the sad & happy moments tasted together…

Out of all my friends, I wish to take this opportunity to thank a very special friend who has played an extraordinary role in my life. Praise will run short if I put them in words. I admire my friend for patiently bearing with me despite my thousand faults and weaknesses… My friend has also been one of my motivating and influential factors in my recent accomplishments and has been a continuing source of inspiration.

It is a wonderful feeling to feel the presence of my friend always around me.

“A Million THANKS to you for never letting me down and a Billion THANKS for always pulling me back to life every time I have gone through nerve wrecking breaking points!!!”

:: TODAY ::

On a beautiful morning
Filled with sweet sunshine

I think of you and those moments
Those make me who I am today

It makes me smile to think of you
I close my eyes to remember you

And in my breath I can catch your scent
As it still steals my breath away…

I live each moment at a time
I don’t know what’s coming my way

All I know is I’m alive right now
Because I find you there beside me
Every time I think of you

I know I’ve got used to
Your presence in my life
But I also know I’ll have to let go
And wave at you as you walk away

I know my world will be breaking apart
I know my dreams are going to get washed away

But just to know that you are happy
I’d wipe my tears and smile at you
Today…

...sacrifice...

The trail of crimson blood
Taint the cold grey floor
Of my isolated chamber of
Wounded memories

As I remain shackled behind iron bars
To withhold myself
From reaching out to you
And disturb your happy moments
Now that you have
Been able to forget me
For quite some time

I bereave every moment of truth
I bleed every time I think of you

I sacrifice my emotions
I forgive those feelings
That were perhaps
Never meant to be for me

If only you knew
What you meant to me
You would not have
Let me bleed like this

But that you are gone
If you ever return
You would find your name
Engraved upon
The walls of my heart

You might look for me
Wanting to return to me
But it would have been too late
By then

I would have gone
Sacrificing my love
Leaving behind
A legacy of memories
In your name…

COURAGE

When you want to go
I seem to know
Where you are going
Without me

You want to hide yourself
From my searching eyes
You wish to run away
From me

I know that
You are in love
With someone
Who loves you
Even more

And if you fear
That I will heartbroken
If you dread that
I will be over

Then you are wrong

I may be blazing
Down to ashes
I may be staggering
To walk again

Because every time
I would think of you
Remembering the pleasant times
We lived through

You would still
Find me smiling
Through the rain
As I walk alone…

:: Isolation ::

Lonely hours are the best hours of life
Because...

It is the only time
That we are able to share

Our deepest secrets
With the most
Trusted person in the world

…

That is,
With our inner selves;
Our soul

"THANKSGIVING" - a dedication to a very special friend

There is actually very little that I can express today about my gratitude towards life the way it has helped me understand it.

I dedicate this very day in loving memory of a very special friend who I wish to thank from the bottom of my heart. I always hid my emotions within me concealing them from the outside world… but today I wish to admit the role that this special friend played in my life as a beacon of inspiration at times when I have often been alone and isolated.

I must admit that I could helplessly do nothing to hold things in place the way I had wished. However, I regret nothing as to me, those times spent meaningfully were some of the best moments of my life and I wish to live every day cherishing those memories with my head held high and braving a smile…

We often pray to Almighty to bless us with happiness and all the good things in life. This friend brought everything in my life and for some moments, I felt I was living beyond my dreams… everything that started to happen later seemed to have a heavenly glow in them as they began to unfold.

I am feeling so touched and emotionally stirred by this parting that I cannot express how lonely I have now become. I could sense that we would be parting today or tomorrow and I just could not bear to let go.

I consider this special friend as a heavenly blessing from above. All I can do is thank Almighty over and over again for blessing me with such a wonderful friend. Nothing would change my memories or my feelings. It is just that my respect has increased manifolds towards this special friend and I shall forever remain grateful and obliged.

I am so deeply shocked and shaken… that my eyes are brimming with tears in them and I feel I can hardly write any more.

“…I can never stop thanking you for what you truly mean to me…You shall never be forgotten…I am sure you know how much you shall be missed in sober silence every single day...I am so proud of you!"

Kazi


Friday, 01 January 2010